Here’s another TMI post. Ready? Okay.
For all long time, I didn’t follow my dreams. Why? Because I was told I wasn’t pretty enough and that I wasn’t good enough, and most importantly, because I believed them.
For as long as I can remember I knew I wanted to be in front of the camera, singing, or just make a career in the music industry. I have videos of me dancing and singing like Selena, and I was so serious, too. I would perform for my family at family parties. I would make my mom record me as I walked around interviewing my brother and annoying him (some things never change). I felt like I was destined for entertainment at such an early age.
So what happened? Well, you start going through a phase where you’re insecure and it doesn’t help that people you’re close to put you down. I remember being told by a “close” friend that I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, or even talented. One of my biggest faults is trying to please everyone and not wanting to hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s not so much of a fault, but it hindered me. I never wanted to “shine” or be “praised” for something good I did, because I didn’t want people to think I was a show-off. I always belittled my accomplishments because I didn’t want others to feel bad. I cared too much. The problem is other people don’t care, and actually that’s okay.
And don’t get me wrong, I too was the cause of some of those insecurities. I would tell myself that what I had to say wasn’t as important, and people didn’t want to hear it. I told myself I wasn’t pretty enough to get a job in the industry because I’m not a size 2. I even feared being great and “making it” because I was scared that people would call me names and just be mean. How stupid is that? It’s not until this very moment, as I’m writing this that I see how much it affected me. I was looking at the smaller picture. The price you pay for following your dreams is the occasional “hater” (I hate that word), but it’s a small price to pay when you get to do the thing you love for a living.
At some point in my life, I gained confidence, and a “so what!” type of attitude. I stopped caring and started doing EVERYTHING I wanted to do. I went back to school, I applied for internships and jobs that I only dreamed of doing before. I put myself out there. I made sure I was myself. And if you like it, GREAT and if you don’t that’s okay, too. I stopped trying to be everything people wanted me to be. I’m me. I’m weird, random and creepy at times, lol. I will never go back to being scared of being myself. EVER. I am so happy and confident in my journey. Good looks help, but I have a bangin’ personality that will get me far in life.
So thank you to my closest friends who have put up with my weirdness and embraced it & thank you for being supportive in everything I do.
I hope everyone has a beautiful day!
With lots of love,
Musiq Gypsy <3